Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Outsourcing is the way to go....
WEDDING INVESTMENT
Rs.2,000,000 Marriage expenses.
Rs.30,000 Monthly expenditure.
Rs.3,000 Wife's monthly maintenance.
RETURNS:
First 5 years Weekly 3 Times.
Next 5 years Weekly 1 Time.
Next 10 years Once in 15 days.
Next 10 years Once in a month.
TOTAL COST
1400 times sex in 30 years for an estimated expenditure of a whooping : 17,840,000.
+
Opportunity cost on 2,000,000
spent on wedding at 7% for 40 years as
per current Post-tax Fixed Deposit Interest rate = LKR 29,848,915.68
TOTAL COST = LKR 47,788,915.68
Kindly Note:
A Man spends Rs.34,135 for each time he has Sex with his Wife....!!!
CONCLUSION :
Outsourcing is cheaper.
Rs.2,000,000 Marriage expenses.
Rs.30,000 Monthly expenditure.
Rs.3,000 Wife's monthly maintenance.
RETURNS:
First 5 years Weekly 3 Times.
Next 5 years Weekly 1 Time.
Next 10 years Once in 15 days.
Next 10 years Once in a month.
TOTAL COST
1400 times sex in 30 years for an estimated expenditure of a whooping : 17,840,000.
+
Opportunity cost on 2,000,000
spent on wedding at 7% for 40 years as
per current Post-tax Fixed Deposit Interest rate = LKR 29,848,915.68
TOTAL COST = LKR 47,788,915.68
Kindly Note:
A Man spends Rs.34,135 for each time he has Sex with his Wife....!!!
CONCLUSION :
Outsourcing is cheaper.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Modernization of girls
1960's : Love me, but don't touch me.
1970's : Touch me, but don't kiss me.
1980's : Kiss me, but don't do anything more.
1990's : Do everything, but don't tell anyone.
Since 2000 : Do everything, otherwise I will tell everyone that you can't do anything.
1970's : Touch me, but don't kiss me.
1980's : Kiss me, but don't do anything more.
1990's : Do everything, but don't tell anyone.
Since 2000 : Do everything, otherwise I will tell everyone that you can't do anything.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I am looking for my WIFE
Two old guys are pushing their carts around K-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that.I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?“
The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.”
The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?“
The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.”
Monday, December 6, 2010
The Beautiful Teacher of Little Johnny
A pretty teacher was concerned with one of her students.
Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love," the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With YOU!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!"
Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love," the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With YOU!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!"
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Side effects of alcohol.... And remedies!!!
1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure: Manoeuvre glass until open end is facing upward .
2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill your glass!
4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you!
5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear and trying to drink from it !
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!
6. Symptom : Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.
7. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure: Manoeuvre glass until open end is facing upward .
2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill your glass!
4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you!
5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear and trying to drink from it !
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!
6. Symptom : Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.
7. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
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