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What is the opposite of laughing

teacher asks a student:

What is the opposite of laughing? 

The student says: sex!

The teacher:

Shame on you! How can you say that?

The student:

Laughing is
Ha ha ha,

Sex is
Ah ah ah

Bony M Remake South Indian Style

A Loving Husband...

A man had two of the best tickets for the FA Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No", he says, "the seat is empty."

"This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the FA Cup Final, the biggest sporting event of the year, and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head...

"No. They're all at the funeral."
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