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Man comes home , finds his wife with his friend in bed .
He shoots his friend to death .
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends" .


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Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother "
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"


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 What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress


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Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
                         Without Information ighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means , With I diot For E ver !!!"


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Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress , tension and panic?
Stress
 is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
Panic 
is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: u know the importance of 
period ?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.


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Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S ?
Bcoz people started licking the wrong side.

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Women asked man who is traveling with six children,  all these kids are urs??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.


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Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How urs look like?
2nd: She is 5"736-24-36FairBlack eyes . Wat abt urs?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!


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Son and his firend asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my sonim confidentur friend also my  son, that's
confidential
!


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Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this right time we shud talk abt sex.
Daughter: Sure mom, tell me wat u want to know.
Mom:##??!!

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