Friday, February 26, 2010

Innovative hands free

Idiot

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him,


"So, what was wrong?"


He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."


I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:


"An ID ten T error?

Mr. Bean in Avatar

What happend?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Career growth meter... Check where are you???

Imagining that facebook exist in the forties

Why he FAILED??

Two young men with equal qualifications apply for the same job. In order to determine which individual to hire, the manager gives them a written test. Both men score nine out of 10 on the test; however, the manager decides to go with the first applicant.

"Why would you do that?" asks the rejected second applicant. 



"We both got nine questions correct."

"Your fellow applicant wrote 'I don't know' for question five. You put down, 'Neither do I.'"

Good clean joke

A man frantically speaks into the phone, 


"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" 


"Is this her first child?" The doctor asks. 


"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

What is the best PRODUCT of Bill Gates?

By far the best product from Bill’s Stable...
.
.
.

No!
.
.
.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Fill in the B L A N K S


Ok, Guys and Gals, No Cheating....how many did u get right?
  TEST YOUR VOCABULARY:
 
             FILL IN THE BLANKS
 
             1.  BOO_S ???
 
             2.  _ _ NDOM ???
 
             3.  F_ _K ???
 
             4.  P_N_S ???
 
             5.  PU_S_ ???

Answers are ....

Funny Video - This Cricket Fan Had One Too Many


Sunday, February 21, 2010

Our objective of the week


Monday                                                                                       Friday



Udurawana Jokes: Few Stories


Udurawana bought a new mobile.
He called everyone from his Phone Book & said
"My Mobile No. has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Udurawana : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend : Really, what is he studying.
Udurawana : No he is not studying, They r Studying him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Udurawana: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Interviewer shouts: Stop it.
Udurawana : Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------



Udurawana : Doctor, In my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Udurawana : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------


Udurawana : If I die will u remarry?
Wife : No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Udurawana : No, I'll also stay with your sister

--------------------------------------------------------------------------


Udurawana  : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife : How do you know??
Udurawana : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD ! U have came again..



Medical Claim.!!

A couple went to the sex therapists office at Appollo Hospital . 
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?". 


The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing
wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them Rs.300/=

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an Appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor and then leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to
find out?"


The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married And we can't go to her house - I'm married and we can't go to my house.Cinnamon Grand charges Rs. 10,000, Taj charges Rs.7,000,Galadari charges Rs.6000. We do it here for Rs.300/= & and I get that back from Medical Claim !



Best Toyota Cab

Mal Kadanna Epa

Friday, February 19, 2010

Beggar Sophistication - Only in Sri Lanka?

Picture was taken near Town hall, Colombo, Sri Lanka.

Mark the Place -

Sinhala Love Vocabulary


Meaning of ABCDEFG..Ladies take it easy.

Sent by Tuna

Good one


A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots the top - of - the - line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. AS she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her Accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madame, if you farted just by touchingit, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Politics - Old Joke with a new vision

Whether Conservative, Liberal or Labour , I think you'll get a kick out of this!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby as severely soiled his nappy.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny..

He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '

The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

The little boy replies, 'The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.'

Thursday, February 11, 2010

It could have been worse

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say ''It could have been worse.''

His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.


So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date.


Joe asked, ''Where's Gary?''


And one of his friends said, ''Didn't you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.''


Joe says,''Well it could have been worse.''


Both his friends said, ''How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!''


Joe says, ''If it had happened two days ago, I'd be dead now!''
 

A Creative Google Ad

Love at First Sight

Stuffed Room - How to clean a room

Stuffed Room - How to clean a room

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Funny Short Stories

1. A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.  


2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY 


NIthamba

Modern Valentina fairy tales



Sri Lanka's Funniest Emails

Little Jonny: I like the way you are thinking

A teacher in a mathematics lecture asks a 3rd std class,
" If there are 3 birds on a tree and u shoot one of them, how many birds would remain??".Johnny,the naughtiest of the lot, shoots up his hand. 

teacher: "ok johnny ,whats the answer?".
Johnny: "none,ma'am.
teacher: "how?"
Johnny:" after hearing the shot ,all the other birds will also fly away."

Teacher:"no johnny, the answer here is 2,but I like the way u r thinkin.

now johnny has a doubt.

Johhny: " teacher can i ask u a question?
Teacher: "sure"


Importance of having Firends

Importance of having Friends


Sri Lanka's Funniest Emails

Women and Clothes


Women's life is very hard. 

Morning- wash clothes.
Noon- Dry clothes.
Evening- Iron clothes
Night- Remove clothes
Late Midnight- Searching clothes

Java Virtual Machine

No Trucks in Vietnam

Who needs a truck in Vietnam


[]

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Is there Cricket in Heaven? Sanath and Attapattu

Sanath and Atapattu, now pretty old guys, 80 and 86 years old,are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket,like they do every day.


Sanath turns to Atapattu and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"


Atapattu thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."


They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Atapattu passes on. 


One day soon afterward, Sanath is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sanath... Sanath !" 




The ring - Holeproof commercial

Holeproof commercial- Now with a Pocket very funny

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Funny Photos

Europe VS USA


Female IT Experts


Little Jonny: How many rabbits?


Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven Sir

Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2
rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Little Jonny - Black Eye

The naughty, Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye.


His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"


"But Dad, it was not my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That`s when she hit me!"

Friday, February 5, 2010

Who is that ...



Drunk.... but still in control


Rohit wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his
eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of
water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless,
clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is
on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"

The best seat belt

Terrific Traffic Question

Traffic Question 

Most men will get this right!
 

You are driving along a narrow 
two lane road with aNO PASSING sign posted, and come upon a bicycle rider. Do you follow this slow-moving bicycle rider for the next 2 miles, or do you break the law and pass? 

Which is the correct choice?
 

New Pillows from Japan